Briscoe wrote:"You wouldn't want me for a neighbor. I wouldn't hesitate to do my best to have your children removed from your home and you locked up, if I witnessed them being abused. Same thing if I see someone kicking or beating a dog, cat or any domesticated animal. I haven't always been aware the abusers mistreatment and neglect was intentional. All traits of asshole bullies. I've become a lot less tolerant with age. I do my best to avoid conflict. But I refuse to look the other way. It only encourages bullies and breeds more of them".
mcalley, the problem with that is you might think that my spanking with an open hand is abuse, but I don't. I don't want nosy people taking my family away for behaving like a conservative. it's too easy to get on the phone and have the government check on things when there probably aint nothing wrong in the first place.
Briscoe, I don't object to parents swatting the behinds of kids to get their attention. That's not abuse. I've seen parents that have to keep their kids harnessed to take them shopping. That's not abuse. Those things we do to protect our children from crossing an unsafe boundary. Parents are a problem when they lose control while attempting to control the actions of their kids, crossing the line from discipline to abuse.
Kids know their parents before we know them most of the time. They look for discipline to define borders that make them feel safe. The problem is discipline can easily become abuse when done out of anger. Neither the child or the parent benefits. A parent over powering a kid and beating him with a belt is humiliating, adding an unnecessary frustration. Children do not need to be humiliated, even when the parent is humiliated by their behavior. Consistency in corporal punishment such as a spanking (not a beating) is key to obtain the objective to not cross a particular boundary. Kids up to age six or seven are nothing more than a bundle of appetites and desires. Discipline is critical during those formative years. It shapes how they will deal with future boundaries.
It's important to break the cycle of abuse. There's nothing wrong in rejecting a standard that is more detrimental than beneficial. Every child is different. Some are disposed to avoid confrontation, others bent on it. No single method of discipline works for every child. It's up to the parent to be caring and open enough to figure out what works best for disciplining each child, and reject abuse as an option.